Eleven Rules for Visiting a Ghost Town
Rule #1: The first rule states that the location of Pithole, Pennsylvania can only exist on one (1) map, for one (1) year, at any given time.
Rule #1 (a): If, after the span of one (1) year, the map is not found and/or found but not utilized, the location of Pithole, Pennsylvania shall cease to exist on said map.
E.g., Pithole, Pennsylvania appears on a map located in a Soviet bunker. After three-hundred-sixty-five (365) days, Pithole, Pennsylvania appears on a map buried beneath a yurt, constructed and eventually forgotten in Southern Pakistan. After three-hundred-sixty-five (365) days, Pithole, Pennsylvania appears on a map blowing through a DuBois, Pennsylvania truck-stop parking lot.
Rule #2: The second rule states that the map on which the location of Pithole, Pennsylvania is drawn must be acquired by extraordinary circumstances.
Rule #2 (a): “Extraordinary Circumstances” include but are not limited to: Regurgitating said map; finding said map behind oil paintings found in small town thrift shops; or receiving said map via post from relations no longer living.
E.g., Kimberly Brenneman of York, Pennsylvania drives west on I-80, en route to her Erie home. She pulls her beaten sedan onto DuBois exit 101 and into a truck-stop for a much needed restroom break. As she returns to her vehicle, as she opens the driver’s side door, a wayward map is blown into the sedan’s interior. Under ordinary circumstances Kimberly would discard the map, would leave it to continue its tumbling. But these are extraordinary circumstances. Kimberly has just left the funeral of her father, and it is a day unlike any other, so she opens the map, closes her eyes, and points a finger, resolved to travel to whatever place lies beneath her skin. She opens her eyes.
Rule #3: The third rule states that once and if the finder of the map ventures to Pithole, Pennsylvania, he or she must thrice walk backwards down Holmden Street.
Rule #4: The fourth rule states that if, while walking down Holmden Street, the finder hears a knock on a door then it is considered polite to open said door. If, however, the finder hears nothing, he or she should leave Pithole, Pennsylvania immediately, for to stay would be to invite certain annihilation.
Rule #4 (a): Structures found on Holmden Street include but are not limited to: “General Merchants;” “Bonta House;” “Dry Goods Department;” “Chase House;” “Lily’s Brothel;” and “Danforth House.” Structures in Pithole, Pennsylvania are not static.
E.g., Upon first pass of Holmden Street, “Lily’s Brothel” exists on the West side of Holmden Street. Upon second pass, “Lily’s Brothel” exists on the East side, or ceases to exist at all. Upon third pass, all structures on Holmden Street are replaced with replicate copies of “Lily’s Brothel.”
Rule #5: The fifth rule states that the finder must not resist whatever lies opposite the door.
E.g., Kimberly hears a knock from the General Merchants, opens the door to find her father. But it isn’t truly her father, for he’s far too tall to be human, his skin hanging too loosely on his cheekbones. His fingers are slender, made longer by unkempt nails. Kimberly is unable to meet the not-father’s eyes, but, still, there is a familiarity about this creature. She is both comfortable and uncomfortable as the not-father sweeps his arm in a welcoming gesture.
Rule #6: The sixth rule states that if the finder is invited inside the structure to which the door is attached, it is considered polite to accept the offer of hospitality.
Rule #7: The seventh rule states that the finder is, under no circumstances, advised to accept any offerings of food or drink.
E.g., The not-father leads Kimberly into a reproduction of her childhood living room. From the radio, the Pirates pitch to the Orioles. The not-father extends an unopened can of Iron City, the ’79 Steelers printed across the aluminum. Kimberly feels a dryness in her throat, but she recalls the seventh rule. No, she says, thank you.
Rule #8: The eighth rule states that once the finder is given permission to leave, he or she must thrice walk face-first down Holmden Street.
Rule #9: The ninth rule states that, once he or she crosses the threshold out of Pithole, Pennsylvania, he or she must not, under any circumstance, look back.
Rule #10: The tenth rule states that upon leaving Pithole, Pennsylvania, the finder should forget ever walking along that haunted street. Upon total memory depletion, the finder will receive a “gift” from the beings on Holmden Street.
Rule #10 (a): “Gift” may include but is not limited to: Currency of varying amounts, valuable to one or more existing or non-existing societies; cosmic data relating to the finder and/or his or her family; or “love.”
E.g., Kimberly, were she to forget her experience in Pithole, Pennsylvania, might be given a watch that her father once wore. She might be given the opportunity to express her love one last time, to share that final beer with her him.
Rule #11: The eleventh rule states that, like all other rules, those listed on these pages are meant to be bent, twisted, and broken.
Rule #11 (a): Bending, twisting, and breaking rules includes but is not limited to: Upon entering Holmden Street, walking face forward and/or upon leaving Holmden Street, walking backwards; upon leaving Pithole, Pennsylvania, the finder is unable to forget his or her experience; upon crossing the threshold of Pithole, Pennsylvania, the finder turns, looks back.
E.g., Her father braiding her hair into tight knots; her father’s hand on her back, gently guiding her as she peddles the bicycle. Then, the absence of his hand; her father beside her on the couch, a beer in his hand and baseball on the television; her father smiling, even after the diagnosis; how she thought she saw the subtle movements of her father’s chest as he lay in the casket; how she thought she felt his breath when she leaned up to kiss the not-father’s cheek.